The Burn Sherpa

Babies Burn for Free!

The Burn Sherpa News

The Burning Man organization announced today its new policy of granting a free ticket for life to any baby actually born on the playa during the burn.

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"Aliens Mistake Art Car for Mothership: Interstellar Party Ensues!"
"Psychedelic Sunscreen: SPF 1000 Not Enough for Astral Burns!"
"Polyester Tents & Disco Balls: Burning Man's Unofficial Fire Starters!"
"Sunscreen Shortage Sparks Panic: New Shade Structure Installation Service Skyrockets!"
"Extra Thirsty: 'Hydration Station' Mistaken for Performance Art at Burning Man!"
"Exodus Traffic Jam Escalates: Mutant Vehicles Now Racing Camels!"
"Survival of the Glitziest: When 'Leave No Trace' Meets Disco Ball Disaster!"
"Kaleidoscope Goggles: Because Seeing Normally is Too Mainstream!"
"Last Known GPS Coordinate: The Lost Porta-Potty!"
"Sparkleponies Unite! Glitter Shortage Strikes Fear at Burning Man!"
"Mirage Alert: Dust-Covered Vegan Mistaken for Walking Art Installation at Burning Man!"
"Post-Apocalyptic Dust Cleaners: Burning Man's Unsung Heroes!"
"Where Dust Masks Become the New Black Tie!"
"Playa Chronicles: When Your Spirit Animal is a Dust Storm!"
"Hot Sand, Hotter Tofu: Vegan’s Dilemma at Burning Man!"
"Desert Glitter: Nature's Craft Herpes Strikes Again at Burning Man!"
"Playa Dust: Mother Nature's Glitter!"
"'Alien Abduction: Failed Attempt at Leaving Burning Man Early!'"
"Dehydration Station: Where Ice Becomes More Precious Than Gold!"
"Meanwhile, at 'The Daily Burn': Alien Abduction Delayed Due to Dust Storm!"
"Playa Dust: Nature's Glitter or the Ultimate Diet Supplement?"
"Glitter Shortage Triggers Existential Crisis at Burning Man!"
"Tan Lines Optional: The Survival Guide to Sunscreen Artistry at Burning Man!"
"Today's Forecast: 100% Chance of Radical Self-Expression in 'The Daily Burn'!"
"First-Time Burner Mistakes Art Car for Uber, Rates Ride 5 Stars!"
"Playa Chronicles: Dust Masks and Glow Sticks - The New Black Tie Affair!"
"Desert Mirage: When Your GPS Insists There's a Starbucks at Burning Man!"
"Bohemian Bonfire Bloopers: Where Dust Masks Become the New Black Tie!"
"Aliens Reject Burning Man Invitation: Too Mainstream!"
"Playa Dust Allergies? Blame it on the Art Installations in 'The Daily Burn'!"
"Sandstorms & Spandex: Just Another Tuesday at Burning Man!"
"Playa Dust Couture: When Your Outfit is 90% Desert!"
"'The Daily Burn: Where Dust Masks are the New Black and Clothing is Optional!'"
"Today's Forecast: 100% Chance of Dust Storms and Radical Self-Expression!"
"Alien Lands at Burning Man, Asks for More Glitter and Vegan Tacos!"
"'The Daily Burn': Where Dust Masks Become the Ultimate Fashion Statement!"
"Playa Dust: The Only Seasoning You'll Need at 'The Daily Burn's' Grilled Cheese Station!"
"Sandstorm Survival: When Your Goggles Become Your BFF!"
"Desert Mirage: Lost Hipster Mistakes Art Car for Uber!"
"Aliens Invade Burning Man: Demand More Glitter!"
"Playa Dust: The Original Gluten-Free Diet!"
"Sandstorm Scavenger Hunt: Who Swiped My Kale Smoothie?"
"Aliens Land at Burning Man, Mistake it for Intergalactic Rave!"
"Extra, Extra! 'Dust Goggles: The New Black' Claims Fashion Guru at The Daily Burn!"
"Sunscreen Shortage Sparks Sudden Surge in Shadow-Sharing Shenanigans!"
"Extra, Extra! Burn All About It: Dust Storms Now Considered a Fashion Trend at Burning Man!"
"Spontaneous Combustion: When Your Vegan, Gluten-Free, Non-GMO Tofu Burger Catches the Burn Spirit Too!"
"Sandstorms & Art Cars: No GPS Required!"
"Unicorn Onesie Declares Run for Mayor of Black Rock City in 'The Daily Burn'"
"Desert Mirage: The Quest for an Ice-Cold Beer at Burning Man!"
"Surviving the Playa: How I Mistook a Dust Storm for a Chai Latte!"
"Art Car Traffic Jam: Burners Late for Sunrise Yoga!"
"Spontaneously Combusting Yogi Finds Inner Peace at 'The Daily Burn'!"
"Desert Mirage or Real? Stripper Poles Now Accepting Contactless Payments at Burning Man!"
"Aliens Land at Burning Man, Mistake Art Installations for Advanced Earth Technology!"
"Desert Mirage: When Your GPS Takes You to Burning Man Instead of Coachella!"
"'Dust Goggles: The New Black in Burner Fashion - Who Knew Visibility Was Overrated?'"
"Mirage Spotted: Ice Cream Truck or Hallucination?"
"Where's My Tent? High Jinks and Hijinks at GPS-Free Zone!"
"Dust Bunnies Unite: The Unseen Tribe of Burning Man!"
"Aliens Land at Burning Man, Still the Most Normal Thing Here!"
"Aliens Land at Burning Man, Mistake it for Interstellar Art Show!"
"Glitter Bombs and Camelbaks: A Tale of Sparkles, Hydration, and Unsuspecting Burners!"
"Psychedelic Picasso Loses Masterpiece Tent in Dust Storm; Claims Aliens Abducted It!"
"Desert Mirage or Just Another Disco Ball: Tales of 'The Daily Burn'"
"Dust Goggles and Tutus: Just Another Casual Tuesday at 'The Daily Burn'"
"Bartering With Dust Bunnies: The Unseen Economy of Burning Man!"
"Desert Mirage? Nope, Just Larry in His LED Tutu Again!"
"Lost in Dust: GPS Fails to Find the Best Art Installation at Burning Man!"
"Psychedelic Camels and Glitter Tornadoes: Just Another Tuesday at 'The Daily Burn'"
"Desert Survival 101: How to Swap Your Latte for Dust and Enlightenment!"
"Dehydration Station: Where Water is the New Currency and Ice is the Bitcoin!"
"Mad Max Fashion Week: Glitter is the New Black!"
"Mutant Vehicle Traffic Jam: Even at Burning Man, You Can't Escape the Morning Commute!"
"Another Dust Storm, Another Lost Tutu: The Unspoken Hazards of Burning Man!"
"Art Cars, Tutus and Dust: The Holy Trinity of Burning Man!"
"Dehydration Strikes Again: Camels Sue for Overtime at Burning Man!"
"Aliens Demand Refund: Thought Burning Man Was Actual Flaming Human!"
"'Mojave Mirage: The Day We Mistook a Dust Devil for the Sherpa Tent!'"
"Extra, Extra! Read All About It: Dust Storms Invent New Hairstyle Trend at Burning Man!"
"Playa Dust: Mother Nature's Glitter or the Ultimate Dry Shampoo?"
"Sunscreen Shortage Leads to Unexpected Art Exhibit: The Human Lobster!"
"Aliens Mistake Burning Man for Actual Man: Galactic Party Ensues!"
"'The Daily Burn': Where Dust Masks and Sunscreen are the New Black Tie!"
"Dehydration Station: Where Your Water Bottle is Just Another Costume Accessory!"
"Playa Dust: Mother Nature's Glitter Bomb!"
"Spontaneous Combustion: The Only Acceptable Way to Get a 'Burn'ing Body at Burning Man!"
"Desert Mirage? No, That's Just Larry - The Guy Who Thought He Could Grill Burgers on The Man!"
"Desert Mirage: The Quest for the Last Ice Cube at Burning Man!"
"Playa Dust: Nature's Glitter or Cosmic Allergy Test?"
"Dust Bunnies Unite: A Tale of Love, Art and Porta-Potty Lines at Burning Man!"
"Groovy Goggles & Dusty Dreadlocks: The Unspoken Dress Code of Burning Man!"
"Dehydration Station: When Your Spirit Animal is a Camel!"
"Post-Apocalyptic Glitter Shortage Hits The Playa in 'The Daily Burn'"
"Spontaneous Combustion: The Unexpected Perks of Being a Burner!"
"Glitter, Goggles, and Gone: The Mystery of the Vanishing Porta-Potty!"
"Desert Mirage or Art Installment? Hallucinating Burner Can't Tell!"
"Scorching Love: Alien Abducts Burner for His Art Car!"
"Glitter Goggles and Tutus: The Unofficial Uniform of Desert Survival!"
"Breaking News: Dust Mask Tan Lines Now Considered Ultimate Fashion Statement at Burning Man!"
"'Desert Mirage or Art Installation? Dehydrated Burner Can't Tell!'"
"Playa Dust: Nature's Glitter and Ultimate Diet Plan!"
"High on Dust: A Long, Strange Trip to the Porta-Potties!"
"Lost GPS Finds Self at 'The Daily Burn': Navigating Love, Dust, and Psychedelics!"
"Dehydration Delusion: The Only Place Where Seeing a Giant Octopus Riding a Bicycle is Normal!"
"Where's My Tent? Mapless at the Mad Max Mapquest!"
"From Dusty Tents to Disco Balls: Alien Abduction Rates Skyrocket at Burning Man!"
"Bartering with Vegan Tacos: The Unofficial Currency of Black Rock City!"
"Psychedelic Tan Lines: The Unintended Souvenirs of Burning Man!"
"Mad Max: Festival Road - The Unbearable Lightness of Being Dusty!"
"Polyester Costumes: The Unintentional Human Torch at Burning Man!"
"Alien Invasion Foiled by Lack of Porta-Potties at Burning Man!"
"Desert Mirage: When Your Spirit Animal is a Dust Bunny!"
"Playa Dust: The Only Cure for Cleanliness!"
"Aliens Land at Burning Man, Leave After Deciding It's Too Weird Even for Them!"
"Glitter, Goggles and Porta-Potties: The True Trifecta of Burning Man!"
"Playa Dust Diet: Lose Your Mind, Not Your Weight!"
"Glitter Goggles and Tutu Tans: The Unforeseen Hazards of Burning Man!"
"Desert Mirage: When Your GPS Mistakes Burning Man for a Starbucks!"
"Last Night's Dust Storm Reveals New Art Piece: 'The Accidental Sandcastle!'"
"Sandwiched Between Reality: When Your GPS Insists Burning Man is a Deli!"
"Bartering with Bacon: A Sizzling Tale from the Dusty Playa!"
"Alien Spaceship Mistakes Burning Man for Actual Planet, Joins the Party!"
"Who Swapped My Organic Chia Pudding for Glow Sticks?!" - The Daily Burn Chronicles at Burning Man!
"Playa Dust: Nature's Glitter or Apocalypse Sneezing Powder?"
"Where's My Tent? Lost and Found Adventures at 'The Daily Burn'"
"Desert Mirage or Just Another Glitter Shortage? - Inside the Chaos of Burning Man!"
"Where Dust Masks are the New Black: Survival Fashion at Burning Man!"
"Disco Ball Hijacks UFO: The Unspoken Burning Man Traffic Jam!"
"Aliens Refuse to Land at Burning Man: 'Too Outlandish,' They Report!"
"Sandstorm Sessions: Unearthing the Lost Art of Dust Yoga at Burning Man!"
"Dehydrated Hipster Discovers Mirage of Organic Coffee Shop at Playa!"
"Glitter Apocalypse Now: Last Man Standing in the Great Feather Boa Shortage!"
"Polyester Tent: The Uninvited Sparkle at the Disco Inferno!"
"Today on 'The Daily Burn': 'New GPS App - Finding Your Tent in a Dust Storm!'"
"Glitter, Goggles, and Disco Balls: The Survival Essentials of the Playa!"
"Sunscreen Shortage Sparks Spontaneous Art Installation: 'The Lobster People'"
"Desert Mirage: 'WiFi Signal Found at Burning Man'"
"Unicorn Onesie Declares Run for Mayor of Black Rock City in 'The Daily Burn'!"
"Too Dusty to Function: The Chronicles of a Burner's Quest for Clean Underwear!"
"Extra! Extra! 'The Daily Burn': Where Dust Masks are the New Black and Enlightenment is Free, but Ice is $10 a Bag!"
"Desert Mirage: WiFi Signal Found at Burning Man!"
"Pyro-therapy: The Only Place Where Setting Your Problems on Fire is Condoned!"
"Playa Dust: Nature's Glitter or Cosmic Seasoning? Find out in Today's 'The Daily Burn'!"
"Man Mistakes Art Installation for Porta-Potty: A Trippy Tale at Burning Man!"
"Sandstorms and Spandex: A Tale of Ironic Survival at The Daily Burn!"
"Art Cars and Dust Masks: The New Black at 'The Daily Burn' Fashion Week!"
"Sandstorms and Sequins: The True Enemies at Burning Man!"
"Lost in Dust Storm: One Man's Epic Quest for His Tent...and His Dignity!"
"Desert Mirage: How to Spot a Real Shower at Burning Man!"
"Dehydration Station: Where the only thing drier than your mouth is our sense of humor!"
"Where's the Ice in this Desert? Oh Wait, It's Burning Man!"
"Dust Goggles: The Unofficial Mascara of Burning Man!"
"Desert Mirage Unveiled: Pacifist Pyro Discovers his Spirit Animal is a Fire Extinguisher at Burning Man!"
"Desert Mirage? Nope, Just Another Pop-Up Vegan Sushi Bar at Burning Man!"
"Art Cars & Dust Tans: Today's Forecast at The Daily Burn!"
"Desert Mirage: 'I Swore My GPS Said There'd Be a Starbucks Here!'"
"'Dust Goggles and Tutus: The New Business Casual at 'The Daily Burn'"
"Life is Dusty: A Chronicle of the Playa's Most Confused Camels at Burning Man!"
"Sandstorms & Sequins: High Fashion Hits the Playa in 'The Daily Burn'!"
"Bartering for Sunscreen: The Unspoken Currency of Burning Man!"
"Dehydration Station: When Your Water Bottle is Accidentally Filled with Vodka...Again!"
"Glitter, Goggles, and Grey Water: The Real Triathlon of Burning Man!"
"Extra, Extra! Alien Abduction Rates Skyrocket at Burning Man: ETs Demand More Glow Sticks!"
"Where Dust Masks are the New Black and Clothes are Optional: Welcome to 'The Daily Burn'!"
"Glitter Shortage Sparks Panic in Black Rock City: Burners Turn to Dustbathing!"
"Sunscreen Shortage Sparks Spontaneous Art Installation!"
"Aliens Abduct Art Car, Demand More Glow Sticks!"

We're not sure that these will catch on, but hey, it was a slow news day, so... Radical Inefficiency: Embrace the art of doing things the long and complicated way. Whether it's building a 10-foot sandwich or inventing a Rube Goldberg machine to open a can of soda, at Burning Man,...

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"Aliens Mistake Burning Man for Actual Man, Offer Sunscreen!"
"Dusty Love Triangle: Porta-Potty, Art Car, and a Man on Fire!"

In an unexpected turn of events at this year's Burning Man, attendees are being hit with a rapidly-spreading virus known as "Burnbola."

"Desert Mirage: When Your GPS Insists There's a Starbucks at Burning Man!"
"Alien Invasion Foiled by Lack of Organic Quinoa at Burning Man!"
"Alien Abduction: Black Rock City's New Rideshare Option!"
"Desert Mirage: When Your GPS Insists There's a Starbucks at Burning Man!"
"Psychedelic Picasso Loses Paintbrush, Discovers Dust Art at Burning Man!"
"Desert Survival 101: Turning Dust Storms into Glitter Showers!"
"Dehydration Delight: The One Time a Year You Wish for a Rain Dance at a Desert!"
"Extra! Extra! Read All About it! 'Dusty Hippies Lose Tug of War Against Sandstorm' in Today's Edition of 'The Daily Burn'!"
"Survival of the Glitteriest: The Unspoken Burner's Evolution"
"Alien Invasion at Burning Man: Extraterrestrials Demand More Glitter!"
"Desert Mirage: Vegan Spotted Eating Bacon-Wrapped Hotdog at Burning Man!"
"Desert Mirage: 'Lost Vegan Spotted Hunting for Tofu in Dust Storm'"
"Dust Goggles & Tutus: The Unofficial Uniform of Burning Man!"
"Sandstorms, Psychedelics and Spontaneous Yoga: Just Another Tuesday at The Daily Burn!"
"'Dusty Playa Problems: When Your Art Car Turns into a Mutant Camel'"
"Sunscreen Shortage Turns Burners into Actual Burning Men!"
"'Dust Masks & Disco Balls: High Fashion at Burning Man'"
"Exodus Traffic Jam: When Your Spirit Animal is a Snail!"
"Unleashing the 'Dust Bunny': When Mother Nature joins the Rave at Burning Man!"
"Alien Spaceship Mistakenly Tries to Land at Burning Man Thinking It's a Galactic Party!"
"Alien Spaceship Refuels at Burning Man, Mistakes Art Installation for Intergalactic Gas Station!"
"Where's My Tent? Chronicles of a Dusty Mirage!"
"Dehydration Station: Where Hydration and Hallucination Meet!"
"Dehydration or Enlightenment? The Great Burning Man Debate!"
"Burning Man: Where 'Leave No Trace' Ironically Applies to Your Inhibitions, Not Your Glitter!"
"Polyester Wigs & Sparklers: A Combustible Combination at The Daily Burn!"
"'Dust Goggles & Disco Balls: A Regular Tuesday at Burning Man!'"
"'Dust Mask Fashion Week: The Only Runway Where You Can't See the Runway!'"