Burning Man Introduces Five New Radical Principles!

We're not sure that these will catch on, but hey, it was a slow news day, so...

Radical Inefficiency: Embrace the art of doing things the long and complicated way. Whether it's building a 10-foot sandwich or inventing a Rube Goldberg machine to open a can of soda, at Burning Man, we celebrate the beauty of wasting time.

Radical Bureaucracy: To encourage community involvement, attendees are required to engage in a complex system of paperwork and bureaucracy in exchange for alcoholic beverages. Filling out forms and standing in line for a government-style booze permit becomes an art form in itself and participation is a gift.

Radical Porta Love: One day of the event is dedicated to expressing gratitude to the humble porta. Participants are encouraged to give the portas heartfelt hugs, decorate them with love notes, and even serenade them with improvised toilet-themed songs.

Radical Miscommunication: Communication must be conducted in the most convoluted ways possible, with deliberate misinterpretation of your innermost feelings. Overreactions and drama are encouraged in the name of shocking revalation. Bonuses for mispronouncing someone's name, especially your own.

Radical Flamingo Inclusion Principle: In the spirit of radical inclusion, everyone is encouraged to bring at least one inflatable flamingo to the burn. These flamingos will serve as conversation starters and should be involved in all interactions, from deep philosophical discussions to dance-offs. Radical flamingo costumes are encouraged, and participants should address each other by their flamingo nicknames.